Anyone who has been following my blog for a while will know I like to write ‘short’ and have sometimes written so-called ‘English haiku’ following the format: three lines of 5,7,5 syllables or, more correctly, sounds. In fact recently I collected together my scribblings in this format and put them under a menu heading of ‘Haiku’
However, recently I have come to the conclusion, after reading hundreds of them from other writers/bloggers, that although they are often beautiful, sometimes moving, short poems, haiku they are not – for me. The same applies to tanka, which add another two ‘lines’ of seven syllables to a haiku (or rather, the haiku resulted from removing the last two ‘lines’ of tanka).
I have to assume that Japanese haiku are just that but as I don’t read Japanese I cannot make any judgement. I read translations of them but I’m certain they lose something. I know Romanian poetry, which I can read in the original, certainly does. I sometimes wonder whether I, as a native English speaker who speaks Romanian pretty well, could do better.
Few of the English ones I’ve read come close to a true haiku, in my opinion, but I haven’t read even one that I now consider to be a haiku – there’s an indefinable ‘something’ missing: Japanese culture perhaps? I certainly haven’t written one.
I find my little 5,7,5 poems easy to write when the moment grabs me, the same with poems that rhyme – haiku do not of course (most people I know say that it’s the rhyming they find difficult). I think I’ve become better over time with my ‘haiku’ attempts but I’m still a long way from being satisfied.
Despite these doubts, I will not stop writing them as I enjoy the discipline of writing to the 5,7,5 format and trying to get closer to a haiku; I think I’ve said before I always enjoyed writing headlines as a journalist and there are similarities. Also, the tanka, and so haiku, goes back 11 centuries and there is something satisfying for me to try to create something with this long a history. In the past one of these short poetic forms was often sent to a friend or family member who added to it and sent it back. It might go back and forth like this for years.
Capturing the ‘decisive moment’
An essential characteristic of a true haiku is that it captures a brief moment of time, and as a keen photographer I cannot help but compare that with the photography of Henri Cartier-Bresson, who said: “To me, photography is the simultaneous recognition, in a fraction of a second, of the significance of an event as well as of a precise organization of forms which give that event its proper expression.” Substitute ‘haiku’ for ‘photography’ and ‘words’ for ‘forms’ and you have, I believe, the essence of a haiku.
So, here’s a challenge: add two seven syllable lines to the following attempt at an ‘English haiku’ I’ve just written, to make a ‘tanka’, and put it in comments. I’ll attempt to respond to each one with another ‘haiku’.
bluetit … food in beak
pauses outside hole in wall
cat waits patiently
August 1, 2018 at 12:39 pm
[…] I wrote a post about my dissatisfaction with my attempts at haiku, and sadly most of the attempts of others other than Japanese poets (who I have no way to judge). […]
May 19, 2018 at 6:01 am
[…] Part of my answer to GrumpyTyke‘s tanka challenge on his blog post. […]
May 19, 2018 at 5:46 am
…
grasshoppers bound off grass blades
scuttle under shade of leaf
…
after sudden rain
heavy heat of summer sun
steamy mists arise
…
May 9, 2018 at 8:56 pm
Bluetit turns her head in fear
Too late though the cat pounces 😼
April 28, 2018 at 2:11 pm
now sensing the predator
the bird waits, frozen with fear
April 29, 2018 at 7:14 am
Thankyou. Good one! Too busy yesterday (Saturday) to do promised ‘haiku’ response but I will as soon as I can.
April 27, 2018 at 11:55 pm
Bird spies bee flight east to west
Flowers sway dance pollen free
April 28, 2018 at 7:21 am
Many thanks Gray. My answering ‘haiku’ later.
Read your ‘bag’ post. A lot to take in. I’ll return to it.
April 30, 2018 at 6:50 am
tit wishing for sting
with warning cheep to her brood
follows bee … cat goes
April 26, 2018 at 5:51 pm
and the milk deliverer
pass by quickly and loudly
April 26, 2018 at 7:13 pm
Well done Ilze. I know English is not your native language so this is a great response. My brain doesn’t function in the evening so I’ll try to do the promised haiku response in the morning.
April 27, 2018 at 6:13 am
Here’s my answering ‘haiku’:
bottles clash … cat flees
fluttering of fledgling wings
safe first flight from nest